Life wasn’t this hard when we were younger, right? At least, it feels that way. But the only reality is that life is still easy and it will always be. The only difference being is our age. We got older, and the older we get, the harder we make things for ourselves. When we were young we used to see the world with pure, sanguine eyes.
We all knew what we wanted and we had no prejudice or secret agendas. We adored people who smiled and we ran away from people who frown. As we grew older, we became discouraged by the negative influences. The perspectives altered, demands got bigger and that’s how we begin to acquire the habitual skepticism.
Eventually, we have made our lives harder and we have lost touch with who we really are, what we really want and what we really need, without even being aware of it.
Most of us have forgotten the true purpose of living, instead masking it with a complex assortment of work, chores, and duties, and then complaining about how difficult life is. However, you can just as easily create a simple life as you can a complex one; it just takes some time to reflect on what you can change, and actually going through with it.
“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” – Confucius
Here are fifteen of the things that are making our lives harder, than it really has to be. Hopefully, when realizing all these things one can finally have some contentment.
1.You care what others think
Does what other people think about your messy house, your shoes or your life choices actually affect your quality of life? Not at all. But you dwelling on what they think (and imagining that they're thinking the worst) definitely can. Give yourself permission to not care about what's going on in other people's heads. It will liberate you and allow you to focus on the more important factor: what's going on in your own head.
Also, some people will always love you, while others will never like you. That’s just how life works, but spending all your time trying to convince others to like you or putting all your worth in their perception of you will always lead to disappointment. Validate yourself, and you won’t need others to approve your life any longer.
2.You're impatient
Getting annoyed that the car you're stuck behind isn't moving fast enough doesn't get you anywhere faster; and internally freaking out while your daughter takes 10 minutes to tie one shoe doesn't make the task any quicker. Being impatient with people doesn't do anything to change the situation. It just adds stress and negativity to your life. Choose to not dwell on feelings on impatience.
3.You stay up late
Treating every night like New Year's Eve isn't the best way to celebrate life. It can actually wreck it. Studies have shown that going to bed early causes you to worry less, be more productive, maintain a healthy weight, get sick less and have an overall more positive life. With this simple lifestyle change, you can do so much to reduce your life's challenges.
4.You allow toxic people to get the best of you.
You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, colleague, childhood friend or a new acquaintance.
You don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.
5.You can’t/won’t let go/Try to be happy always.
These are getting a little harder aren’t they? That’s because sometimes you have to work at happiness. Some hurdles are too difficult to clear by simply adjusting your point of view or adopting a positive mindset.
Do you need to forgive someone? Do you need to turn your back on a failed relationship? Do you need to come to terms with the death of a loved one?
Life is full of loss. But, in a sense, real happiness would not be possible without it. It helps us appreciate and savor the things that really matter. It helps us grow. It can help us help others grow.
Closure is a word for people who have never really suffered. There’s no such thing. Just try to “manage” your loss. Put it in perspective. You will always have some regret and doubt about your loss. You may always second guess yourself. If only you had said this, or tried that.
You’re not alone. Find someone who understands and talk to that person. Reach out for support.
The world can be a difficult place. You may experience suffering, heartbreak and loss. These circumstances can take a toll on your happiness, but do not lose hope. Think about the Yin and Yang in Chinese philosophy, which states that opposite forces are often interconnected.
In suffering, you can find great strength , in heartbreak you can find resilience, and in loss you can find a renewed appreciation for life. Life is always Yin and Yang. Opposites are interdependent and interconnected. You can’t completely shield yourself from sadness without also shielding yourself from happiness.
6 . You are comparing yourself to others
“The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.”
Don’t subject yourself to measuring your life against other’s lives; not only will this distract you from improving your own life, but it will likely make you feel bitter and jealous. People take a multitude of paths in life, and no one’s journey will look quite like yours. It doesn’t mean you should feel threatened or inferior based on how other people live; you should instead compare yourself only to the current version of you, and use that as an incentive to become better.
7. You talk down on yourself daily
Pay attention to your self-talk; it determines everything else about your life. We belittle and berate ourselves so much, and then wonder why our outer world is in shambles. We are usually our toughest critics, so start giving yourself more positive reviews. Remember that you’re only human, and everyone else has flaws and fears just like you.
Rise above your limiting, negative beliefs about yourself, and use these affirmations to help you build positive self-talk.
8. You Rush From Here To There Every Day,And Have Very Little Time To Relax.
One of the biggest stressors in life continues to be a constant hectic schedule. However, remember that you created the life you live today. You can control how much down time you have, and how much time you spend attending to responsibilities. Nothing else in nature rushes around in a constant frenzy, so why do we?
Slow down, breathe deeply, and just relax. We aren’t here to just get stuff done and then die; we’re here to experience, live, grow, and learn.
9. You Dwell On Negative Experiences.
Nothing sets us back more than living in the past. Focusing on all the pain you’ve endured in your life will only bring about even more suffering. Forgive the people who’ve hurt you, leave all the painful memories behind you, and put all your energy on what you can do to better your life right now.
You can’t change yesterday, but you can control your thoughts and actions in the present.
10.You assign negative intent to other people’s actions.
You always take everything as a personal insult. Your colleague didn’t offer you to get coffee together or went to launch without you. Another chauffeur cut you off in traffic. Your friend never called you back. Everyone can see a cause to be offended on a daily basis. So what induced you to be offended? Don’t take things personally. People have their own lives to care about, too. Stop doing this to yourself. Stop attributing negative intent to the unintended actions of the people you know. Make your happy days by finding something good in everyone you meet. If you keep looking closely into everything people around you do and you always assign ulterior motives to their unintentional shortcomings, you can never be happy. Don’t take things personally. Don’t assign negative intent to the unintentional actions of others. Let today be the day you look for the good in everyone you meet.
11.You are stuck on your mistakes.
It’s important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We need to learn from our errors and move forward. Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you learn from it. A happy, successful life, after all, is not a life absent of problems, but one that’s been able to rise above them.
12.You have an “all or nothing” mentality. There’s no such thing as perfect success, just as there’s no such thing as perfect failure. This is why labeling things in extremes – all or nothing – success or failure – is an exercise in futility. What does exist, however, is a continuous series of imperfect moments filled with infinite possibilities and opportunities. Appreciate the grey area between the extremes – the journey – the experiences. And above all, never let success get to your head or failure get to your heart.
13.You keep thinking about worst-case scenarios.
You often think that something innocuous will become an impending catastrophe in your mind. For instance, a blemish on your face becomes a cancerous tumor. A flight to another state turns into plane crashing. Your child not attending a specific school turns into him never getting a good job.
What’s the point of you spending your precious time and energy on anxiety and stress about your negative future? Negativity only breeds extra negativity. You are simply depleting yourself of what you are trying to accomplish today.
It’s your choice to make; either you are seeing the world through a lens of hesitation and discouragement or hope and exhilaration?
Negativity like this only breeds more negativity. It’s a happiness riptide. It will carry you away from shore, and if you don’t swim away it will pull you under. The bottom line is that you can see the world through a lens of doubt and despair or hope and excitement. It’s your choice. Either way, you will someday arrive at the same destination. The only question is: Will you be one of those people with a smile or a frown on their faces?
14.You are a sign-waiting person
You cannot make any decision without receiving a sign. I have only one question referring this point. How would you know which is the right sign and if the sign is positive or negative?
You would be much happier if you make a rather rational decision. It’s not that the fate or other power plays role in our lives. But it would be better to shape fate than be governed by it.
15.You are victim of your high expectations.
You have set high standards to your happiness, anticipating people would go miles for you as you ascribe them unrealistic expectations. Your boyfriend forgot your favorite song, your mom didn’t notice your new nails done, and your friend didn’t wish you luck or the best before your final exam.
You keep your expectations so high and that’s why you get so disappointed at the end. Higher expectations lead to higher disappointments. Instead, as long as you keep you assumptions down you will have a greater chance of getting pleasantly surprised by people’s actions.
To Your Healing Adjustment
Famous
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