10 habits you must quit to be happy

Humans tends to forget they are mortal yet act like immortal forgetting that happiness only come to those who look within. They often run a race of material possession and wealth. Trying to be in control, enslave and dominate others. Trying to tear others down to rise. Trying to bridge the past, present and future forgetting they have limited time clocking to old age and death. Knowing fully well we are living in the most turbulent time in human history, yet ignore the fact.

Most of the time, we believe that if we manage to fix the problems in our lives -if that day ever comes- happiness will knock on our doors eventually. We focus so much on the external events and effects, we forget that actual happiness lies within. The famous quote from psychoanalyst Carl Jung explains this situation beautifully: “ Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens. “

In nutshell,everyone strives to be happy but often, we sabotage our happiness. We engage in habits that ultimately rob us of our joy.The good thing is that these habits are easy to identify and if you are interested, it can be fixed.

Hence, if you actually want to be happier and live a life of happiness quit these 10 habits that destroy and sabotage your happiness.

1.Quit talking down to yourself.

So often we are our own worst critic. We know ourself like no one else does. We know our shortcomings, our faults and our excuses but talking badly about yourself is one of the quickest ways to feel unhappy. Become aware of your mental chatter. What kind of silent talk are you saying to yourself. Replace negative self-talk within your mind. Know that you are doing the best you can and give yourself credit for that. When you find yourself talking badly about yourself, stop and replace it with something good. It may feel awkward at first, but over time, this habit will take you far in your journey towards happiness.

Nothing will bring you down quicker than berating yourself. The mind is a superb instrument if used right, but when used incorrectly, it becomes very destructive. Be aware of your mental self-talk. We all talk silently to ourselves in our heads, but we aren’t always conscious of what we’re saying or how it’s affecting us.

As Henry Ford once stated, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” One of the major causes of why we fail is due to self-doubt and negative self-talk. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones, over time you will change the trajectory of your life.

2.Quit criticizing, judgemental and blaming others. 
A lack of self-esteem and self-worth is evident when someone is constantly criticizing others. Being in criticism is a negative way of being and it impacts your own happiness as well as the happiness of those around you.

People who criticize others are evidencing their own self-judgment. For example, if someone criticizes another for being incompetent, it is merely evidence of that person’s own fear of being perceived as incompetent.

If you want to be happy, accept the shortcomings of others and let them be. Just like you, they are also working to become better. Quit criticizing others and find greater happiness.

The negativity you bleed out toward others will gradually cripple your own happiness. When you truly feel comfortable with your own imperfections, you won’t feel threatened or offended by the imperfections you see in other people.

Let’s do some real talk here. The more judgmental we become, the more we trap ourselves in small cages. Don’t impose your own truth to anyone else. Everyone’s life is different.

So stop worrying about the flaws you see in everyone else, and focus on yourself. Let the constant growth and improvement in your own life keep you so busy that you have no time left to criticize others.

As humans, we are hardwired to point blame. Researcher Brene Brown describes blame as nothing more than the discharging of pain. So when something painful happens to us, most of us have an innate response to find something or someone to blame for the pain we are feeling. 

By blaming, we are able to reduce our pain. As odd as it may sound, blaming is somewhat effective. The problem is that it doesn’t last long and it is usually misplaced.

To help yourself to stop blaming, try to catch yourself when you blame others for situations in your life. Take a look beyond the blame and seek to discover the real issue. Take responsibility for your actions and you will find greater happiness come your way.

3. Quit worrying  about your flaws(NUMBING).
The issue is not whether you have an addiction but rather whether you are using drugs, alcohol, food or any other substance or pass time to either feel good or to avoid being fully engaged in life. Many people who don’t have addictions still use substances to feel good.

If you find yourself frequently seeking happiness in a glass of wine, a tub of ice cream or your favorite carbohydrate, it is time to reevaluate whether that really provides you with happiness or whether it is actually robbing you of your happiness. Many people who are not addicts have quit alcohol because they rely on it for having a good time. If you think this might be you, try quitting and see how you feel. There are many resources to help you along with this if you find that it is something that you need to eliminate from your life.

Everyone has flaws, but it's up to you whether you'll give them the power to keep you from doing what you want. Instead, take your flaws, find your strength in them, and make them work for you.

4.Trying to control everything.
There is no one on earth that has the capability or power to control everything. This habit is a hard one for many people. We want to be in control because we think it will give us some sense of security and safety. The problem is that because there is so much outside of our actual control, we end up feeling frustrated and miserable instead of safe and secure. Let go of what you can’t control and find more happiness.

Control is an illusion. If you try to control everything, you will quickly become frustrated and angry. Instead, remember the only thing you can reliably control is your own reaction to the things going on around you and within you. To have command of yourself is a much more reliable source of happiness than trying to control everything around you.

Being a control freak never helped anyone. We barely have control over things that happen around us. This desire to control each and every part of life can never be tamed. This can only cause exhaustion around your mind and body. This is similar to swimming in the sea. If you constantly struggle against the flow, you’ll drown in those waves. Let things go. You’ll soon figure out it is the best you can do!

* Note: There is one thing you can control and that is your attitude and your reaction to situations throughout the day. Make a concentrated effort to respond in a ways that are positive.

5.Quit living in the past and focus on the present. 
There is only one place you can be at any given moment and that is the present. If most of your time is spent thinking about the past, lamenting over things that you cannot change, you will be unable to feel all the happiness that you could. The past is over and while it’s great to learn from the past, we should not live there within our minds.

Likewise, the future is great to plan for, but if you’re constantly thinking ahead, you miss what’s right before you – the now.

Some people spend their entire lives trying to live in another time and place. They lament about what has been, what they could have done, or what might become. However, the past is gone, and the future doesn’t exist. No matter how much time we spend thinking and lamenting about either, it doesn’t change anything.

The past is in the past and the future is a mystery. When we focus on the past we start to over-analyze past mistakes and regrets. When we focus on the future, we begin to think about possible disaster scenarios and anxieties. The best thing you can do for yourself is to be in the present, nothing else…

One of life’s sharpest paradoxes is that our brightest future hinges on our ability to pay attention to what we’re doing right now, today.

We need to live more in the moment. Living in the moment requires active, open, intentional awareness on the present. Don’t fantasize about being on vacation while at work, and don’t worry about the work piling up on your desk when you’re on vacation. Live for now. Notice the beauty unfolding around you.

6.Quit blaming yourself for everything that’s happened in your life.
This habit is as wrong as not accepting your mistakes. We fall into the misconception that everything happened the way it happened because of us. Well, will there be a time that everything’s perfect? It seems that there will never be a time like that. Happiness is a personal choice. Prioritise your happiness over everything else and don’t forget to calm down.

7.Quit trying to be someone you’re not.

Media and television try to impose “almost unattainable” images to us and make us follow standards that they find attractive. But it’s impossible to make all people look and be “certain way”, and it would be extremely boring to live in the world where everybody would be exactly the same. Your power is in being yourself, because there is only one you in the whole wide world! Somebody will always be taller, smarter, prettier, younger than you but no one can be you! So accept and love yourself for who you are and embrace everything about your uniqueness! Like this you will feel happy and complete!

Just I have stated earlier one of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love you, and you’ll love yourself more too.

You were made unique. There is no one like you with the special gifts you have to offer our world. Did you know that You are so special to an extent of your uniqueness that the probability of you being born by another parents was around 1 in 400 trillion.If you want to be happy, then you must stop trying to be someone you’re not and instead embrace who you are. Being inauthentic is tiring and feels awful. When we act in ways that are incongruent with who we really are, there is a price to be paid and it is paid our of our happiness.

8.Quit holding onto sorrows and disappointments.
Bad things happen to all of us. The important thing here is the ability to see the opportunity in that unfortunate event. Let your focus be on the bright side. Dwelling on past sorrows has never helped anyone.

9.Quit being ungrateful.
Gratitude is said to be one of the quickest shortcuts to happiness and the opposite is true for withholding gratitude. The habit of being ungrateful, causes misery builds up inside. Even on your darkest days, there are still things you can be grateful for.

If practicing gratitude is new to you, start out with the little things. If you only have a dollar in your pocket, be grateful you have a dollar. This is how the goodness within you life will multiply. Focus on what you have, rather than what you don’t have.

Not all the puzzle pieces of life will seem to fit together at first, but in time you’ll realize they do, perfectly. So thank the things that didn’t work out, because they just made room for the things that will. And thank the ones who walked away from you, because they just made room for the ones who won’t.

We are constantly running after things. There’s always something to keep up with, something to do. Where is the finish line? Will there be any time that you don’t desire that new car, phone or house? When we reach our goals, will that be enough? Be grateful for what you have; life will be much easier.

No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

It seems that happiness is never around when we need it. This causes us to be resentful in the present moment and we complain about things all the time. Enjoy the small things in life. There is always something to appreciate or to be grateful for.

10. Quit constantly chasing happines.
Chasing happiness actually means not living in the present moment. It is stealing from the current moment’s happiness and joy. What is it that we are looking for? What is it that we are after? We lose the chance of being happy during this constant search. Sad, isn’t it?