Sympathy is the ability to feel compassion towards others. Empathy goes a step beyond that. Being an ‘empath’ means you not only recognize the emotions of others, but you feel them as if they were your own.
Too often, strong empathizers absorb much of the pain and suffering from their environment. This bogs them down emotionally and blocks their ability to function at a high level.
If you’ve ever been in a room with a negative person, you know how tangible his/her emotions can feel. You feel like his/her heaviness is seeping into you and you find it harder to keep your head up.
Learning to defend yourself from this kind of toxic energy is an essential life tool, because your emotional state affects you mentally, physically and spiritually. Let it be your own!
1.SET AND ENFORCE LIMITS
Negative people who wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions are hard to deal with. They want people to join their 24/7 pity party so they can feel better about themselves. And you may feel pressured to listen to their complaints simply because you don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a compassionate ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional drama.
You can avoid this drama by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary. Think of it this way: if a negative person were chain-smoking cigarettes, would you sit beside them all day inhaling their second-hand smoke? No, you wouldn’t – you’d distance yourself. So go ahead and give yourself some breathing room when you must.
If distancing yourself is impossible in the near-term, another great way to set limits is to ask a negative person how they intend to fix the problem they’re complaining about. Oftentimes they will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a more harmonious direction, at least temporarily.
2.YOU CAN'T CONTROL OTHERS
We literally have absolutely zero control over how other people feel about us and how they act around us.
By reminding ourselves of this universal truth, we set ourselves free of the burden of carrying someone else’s behavior on our shoulders.
By doing so, we can avoid absorbing another’s energy. Just remember to not take things personally.
3.CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE
Spending time with negative people can be the fastest way to ruin a good mood. Their pessimistic outlooks and gloomy attitude can decrease our motivation and change the way we feel. But allowing a negative person to dictate your emotions gives them too much power in your life.
Make a conscious effort to choose your attitude. Create a mantra, such as, “I’m going to stay positive today despite the people around me,” and repeat it often to help you stay on track. Take a deep breath and decide that you're going to make it a great day, despite what others say or do.
4.STOP PLEASING PEOPLE LET GO
“You can be the ripest, juiciest apple in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates apple”. If someone is gossiping about you or complaining about you, don’t fixate on trying to make that person like you. You are not for everyone, and that is OK.
Taking it personally and allowing it to effect your self-esteem will only drag you down into his or her negativity and make you energetically and emotionally dependent on that person’s opinion. We all have different personalities, likes and dislikes, which creates individuality. Love and respect yourself, and that will keep other people’s opinions from draining you.
5.STOP DRAINING YOURSELF TO MEND/HELP OTHERS
It is not your responsibility to fix other people’s problems, especially when they are more interested in complaining than actually finding a solution. Offering your support to someone in need or lending an ear to a friend who is struggling is commendable, but be aware of when your efforts are becoming redundant. Some people want to be pitied.
The more attention you give to their problems, the less resolution there will be. Know when to walk away. Offer your sympathies and remove yourself from the situation. There is no reason to feel sorry or guilty for refusing to engage in someone else’s drama or self-pity.
6.CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS AND ASSOCIATES WISELY
Fact is, there are people you just should not be around! Period! Every person has their own level of tolerance and their own soul mission with regard to other people. Some of you have spiritual connections that need to be worked out with people who are challenging to be around. But remember this: never, ever are you expected by the Divine to take on other people’s energies!! Learn “self” from “other” and keep your own space sacred and inviolate. This is your spiritual duty to yourself.
Toxic relationships happen. The people you should minimize or eliminate contact with will give you certain feelings and experiences. Stay away from people who:
1. Make you feel drained, exhausted, or give you unpleasant physical symptoms like aches, palpitations, chills, upset stomach, etc.
2. Talk incessantly about themselves, their problems, gossip about others or dwell on negative or morbid subjects.
3. Demean you in any way whatsoever.
4. Try to control you or boss you excessively.
5. Engage in any form of deceit.
6. Rage on about other people, their bad relationships, using hate terms and ugly or profane language.
7. Try to pry information out of you or otherwise invade your privacy without your consent or request.
7 . SING CLAP LAUGH AND DANCE IT OFF
Laughter is not only the best medicine for sickness but it is a very effective tool for clearing lower energy. Joy is the highest vibration there is, so it works beautifully for canceling out lower vibrations.
You probably won’t feel like laughing when under the influence of these negative energies. So, pull up some funny videos on Youtube or on your mobile device to watch. I have a handful of favorite comedians whose bits make me laugh out loud.
It will be hard to keep your negative mood or these lower energies attached to you. This is perfect if you like to dance. Make a playlist for times like these and throw a few of your favorite songs into it to dance to.
Sound can be created by any tool, including your hands. Clapping works beautifully, especially when combined with singing a fun tune, a joyful song or whistling. Walk around your space while clapping, and you can also skip while you’re doing this. Any (or all three combined) will raise your vibration and repel negative energies so you can be free to experience joy again.
8 . CHECK YOUR BLESSINGS
When negative energy comes into our presence, it’s hard to recognize the blessings that embody our lives on a daily basis. A home with running water and heat can be overlooked. Food on the table can be misconstrued as something that’s second nature rather than a privilege.
Other blessings like the presence of loved ones and other amenities are often taken for granted. Each day when you wake up keep your blessings in check and make sure that the world around you knows you’re grateful for everything.
Pronouncing your gratefulness can be as simple as telling a loved one that you appreciate what they do for you on a daily basis or offering extra food in your cabinet to a local pantry for a charity. If you’re knowledgeable on the blessings that you have, when negative energy comes into your everyday it will be easier for you to combat the negativity and relish within your blessings.
9.REMEMBER WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU
You are the only one with any say about how you feel. You are 100% responsible for what you let influence your thoughts and emotions and if any aspect of your happiness is out of balance, you have the ability to correct it. Your own perception of yourself is more powerful than anyone else’s, unless you choose to trade away that power for their approval.
Once you choose to be accountable for your feelings, you free yourself from the influence of others. When you are confident in who you are and how you want to feel, it is much more difficult for others to throw you off balance.
Make deliberate choices and take control of the positivity in your life. Choose situations which boost your energies and keep the kind of company that only adds to who you are. Love yourself enough to say ‘no’ wherever it is warranted and walk away from environments that do not serve you. Remember, you are responsible for your life experience. Make it for you and make it phenomenal!
1O.Manage the emotional overload. You don’t need to be beholden to your ability to absorb other’s emotions; turn the curse into a gift by practicing strategies that can free you:
-Learn to recognize people who can bring you down. People who are particularly difficult for emotional empaths include criticizer, the victim, the narcissist, and the controller. Judith Orloff terms these people “emotional vampires” .
When you know how to spot these behaviors, you can protect yourself against them, including removing yourself from their presence, and telling yourself that “I respect the person you are within even though I don’t like what you’re doing.”
-Eat a high protein meal before entering stressful situations such as being part of a crowd. When in a crowd, find places of refuge, such as sitting on the edges, or standing apart.
-Ensure that you don’t have to rely on other people to get you out of difficult situations. Bring your own car or know how to get home easily when needed. Have sufficient funds to be able to make alternate arrangements if you start feeling overwhelmed.
-Set time limits. Knowing how much you can stand and obeying that limit is vital to ensure your mental well-being. Also set kind but meaningful boundaries with others who overwhelm you; don’t stand around listening to them talking for two hours when you can only cope with half an hour.
-Have your own private place in a home shared with others. Ask others to respect your downtime during which you can rejuvenate. This is especially important to prevent you from taking on your partner’s feelings too much. A study, man cave, sewing room, reading nook, etc., all offer your own space.
-Look for positive people and situations. Call a friend who sees the good in others. Spend time with a colleague who affirms the bright side of things. Listen to hopeful people. Hear the faith they have in themselves and others. Also relish hopeful words, songs, and art forms. Hope is contagious and it will lift your mood.
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